Wednesday, December 28, 2011
AHHH
Recruitment is only five days away. Why am I so nervous? I've been through this once before. I know what's going to happen, and I know most of the people. Yet, I'm still nervous as fuck. What if I still suck? What if I stop improving early on? What if I improve but still never reach the level I need to? Will my right ankle always hurt like a son of a bitch after skating? Will my endurance ever improve? ;alsdkfja;lsdjf
Thursday, December 8, 2011
December Goal
My goal for December is to work on my skate form/posture. I'm doing some off-skates stuff on the weekdays and finally am getting back up on skates on the weekends. Shae helped me out a lot more than she realized this past weekend, I think. When sticky skating, I was always told to push hard on the turns and that the movement is like a half-moon. I started doing that and was going faster than I did at the beginning, but then Shae called it "scooter pushes" this weekend. It's amazing how something as simple as a change in terms can make it 100% more clear. A few laps around and I started pushing like I was riding a scooter... I've already seen a definite increase in speed. Am I where I need to be? I have no clue. Probably not. But I'm getting there!
I'm also bending my knees more when I'm skating. I can feel the difference when I do it. It's easier to get and maintain speed. It's still an area where I'm not 100%, but even 20% is better than before.
Next recruitment: 3 weeks, 4 days.
I'm also bending my knees more when I'm skating. I can feel the difference when I do it. It's easier to get and maintain speed. It's still an area where I'm not 100%, but even 20% is better than before.
Next recruitment: 3 weeks, 4 days.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Women's Sports
I follow a freaking ton of roller derby blogs, both here (stalking many of you courtesy of Google Reader) and on Tumblr. The big thing controversy today is over some douchebag writing an article for a little PoS local newspaper about how roller derby isn't a sport. I won't link it here just because many of those people are paid specifically to create controversy and make money for each page view. I won't give that douchebag the pleasure of any additional clicks from the two people who actually read this.
The thing is though - he's not the first and probably not the last to say that roller derby isn't a sport. The prime arguments that these people have are the fake names and the outfits. The names I'm not going to get into right now. The outfits however... Yes, sometimes the outfits can be a little outrageous. This seems to be primarily during certain themed bouts where leagues go out of their way to create an amusing spectacle to draw in the crowds, bringing attention not just to the league but to the charity they support. Usually, however, the women of roller derby wear a short-sleeved shirt or tank top with their team's name on it, some short shorts that allow comfort while keeping the body cool, tights to minimize rink rash, and, of course, their safety gear. What's wrong with that?
In my opinion, the problem is deeper than just what derby girls wear. It's the fact that a sport dominated by women does not garner respect in our society. Think about it - when was the last time you remember anyone talking about women's soccer/football? What about women's basketball? Tennis? Rugby? Cheerleading? (And when I say "cheerleading", I mean the actual sport of cheerleading generally popular in high school and college, not the women who wave their pom-poms during professional football games.) Gymnastics? Luge? Bowling? Golf? Out of all of those, the only sports I can remember anyone talking about are tennis and women's golf, and I suspect the latter is because I live an hour or two away from the LPGA headquarters.
Many of the sports listed get more respect than roller derby, but it's certainly not because of their outfits though. Cheerleading is a sport known for being sexualized with it's tiny skirts and belly shirts. Female tennis players wear cute little skirts rather than the seemingly more practical shorts, but no one gives them shit for that. Hell, when you do hear about female tennis players, it's usually about how hot Anna Kournikova or some other cute little blond girl is more than their amazing skills. Gymnasts often escape the sexualization despite wearing less than derby girls, though this might have more to do with the average ages of gymnasts being between 13 and 17.
If you play one of the other sports, the ones where women wear comfortable, practical clothing, you're often called "a lesbian", as if this is an insult and as if the sport you play and the clothes you wear are what define your sexual orientation and not, you know, being sexually attracted to people of the same sex. I heard this enough back when I played softball, that people don't want to come out and "watch a bunch of lesbians play softball because they're not good enough to play baseball," while the all-male school baseball team enjoyed fairly large crowds and a field that's both well-lit at night and close to both the school building and parking. Never mind that our varsity softball team often took the state championship while the baseball team was just okay. We were women viewed as trying too hard to be "manly" and therefore not to be taken seriously. You just can't win.
In summary: nothing we can do will make people like this view us with respect, not because it's roller derby but because we lack penises. We can rant and rail at this guy, but it's probably not going to do anything but make him more popular with his boss. Or we can save up the rage for our next bout and skate it out.
(BTW, I'd love someone in his local league to invite him to skate with them for a week or so. Just pop him in with a brand new fresh meat class so he can learn all the falls and whatnot, then start running some endurance drills before he leaves. Let's see how he feels about our non-sport after that.)
The thing is though - he's not the first and probably not the last to say that roller derby isn't a sport. The prime arguments that these people have are the fake names and the outfits. The names I'm not going to get into right now. The outfits however... Yes, sometimes the outfits can be a little outrageous. This seems to be primarily during certain themed bouts where leagues go out of their way to create an amusing spectacle to draw in the crowds, bringing attention not just to the league but to the charity they support. Usually, however, the women of roller derby wear a short-sleeved shirt or tank top with their team's name on it, some short shorts that allow comfort while keeping the body cool, tights to minimize rink rash, and, of course, their safety gear. What's wrong with that?
In my opinion, the problem is deeper than just what derby girls wear. It's the fact that a sport dominated by women does not garner respect in our society. Think about it - when was the last time you remember anyone talking about women's soccer/football? What about women's basketball? Tennis? Rugby? Cheerleading? (And when I say "cheerleading", I mean the actual sport of cheerleading generally popular in high school and college, not the women who wave their pom-poms during professional football games.) Gymnastics? Luge? Bowling? Golf? Out of all of those, the only sports I can remember anyone talking about are tennis and women's golf, and I suspect the latter is because I live an hour or two away from the LPGA headquarters.
Many of the sports listed get more respect than roller derby, but it's certainly not because of their outfits though. Cheerleading is a sport known for being sexualized with it's tiny skirts and belly shirts. Female tennis players wear cute little skirts rather than the seemingly more practical shorts, but no one gives them shit for that. Hell, when you do hear about female tennis players, it's usually about how hot Anna Kournikova or some other cute little blond girl is more than their amazing skills. Gymnasts often escape the sexualization despite wearing less than derby girls, though this might have more to do with the average ages of gymnasts being between 13 and 17.
If you play one of the other sports, the ones where women wear comfortable, practical clothing, you're often called "a lesbian", as if this is an insult and as if the sport you play and the clothes you wear are what define your sexual orientation and not, you know, being sexually attracted to people of the same sex. I heard this enough back when I played softball, that people don't want to come out and "watch a bunch of lesbians play softball because they're not good enough to play baseball," while the all-male school baseball team enjoyed fairly large crowds and a field that's both well-lit at night and close to both the school building and parking. Never mind that our varsity softball team often took the state championship while the baseball team was just okay. We were women viewed as trying too hard to be "manly" and therefore not to be taken seriously. You just can't win.
In summary: nothing we can do will make people like this view us with respect, not because it's roller derby but because we lack penises. We can rant and rail at this guy, but it's probably not going to do anything but make him more popular with his boss. Or we can save up the rage for our next bout and skate it out.
(BTW, I'd love someone in his local league to invite him to skate with them for a week or so. Just pop him in with a brand new fresh meat class so he can learn all the falls and whatnot, then start running some endurance drills before he leaves. Let's see how he feels about our non-sport after that.)
Friday, November 25, 2011
Trail skating
Fun fact: I'm really embarrassed by how awful I still am at skating. I hate that I put so much work into learning how to skate and still am so much slower than everyone else, even people who started out after I did. As a result, I've not skated at all for the past month because every time I even strap on skates, my confidence takes a beating. It's hard to go from being awesome at most things I try to being absolute crap.
However, my best friend convinced me to go trail skating yesterday for the first time and it was the best thing she could have done for me.
Yes, I fell (maaaaany times.)
Yes, my shitty ankle hurt like a son of a bitch.
Yes, I had a very embarrassing fall that resulted in a shredded knee sock and a very painful asphalt-filled scrape.
GIFSoup
But this skate session was exactly what I needed to get my head out of my ass. I could only do *one mile* before I chickened out. I should have at least tried for two. Next time, I'll do two. My stability is much lower than it was before, proving that it's time for this skate break to be over. So here I am, spending Black Friday doing chores and working on my paper, all while skating around the house.
Recruitment round two: 1 month, 8 days.
However, my best friend convinced me to go trail skating yesterday for the first time and it was the best thing she could have done for me.
Yes, I fell (maaaaany times.)
Yes, my shitty ankle hurt like a son of a bitch.
Yes, I had a very embarrassing fall that resulted in a shredded knee sock and a very painful asphalt-filled scrape.
GIFSoup
But this skate session was exactly what I needed to get my head out of my ass. I could only do *one mile* before I chickened out. I should have at least tried for two. Next time, I'll do two. My stability is much lower than it was before, proving that it's time for this skate break to be over. So here I am, spending Black Friday doing chores and working on my paper, all while skating around the house.
Recruitment round two: 1 month, 8 days.
Monday, November 7, 2011
13 Signs You're Too Busy
From The Huffington Post
1. You spend a good amount of time worrying about time.
2. You can't remember the last time you were spontaneous.
3. You eat most of your meals on the go.
4. You haven't talked to your best friend in weeks.
5. You're sleep-deprived.
6. You silently wish for cancellations.
7. You don't have time for your indulgences.
8. You can't recall the last time you broke a sweat.
9. You chafe at being asked a favor or commitment.
10. Your body is showing signs of rebellion.
11. You don't deal well with unexpected changes to your schedule.
12. Your bills look like the Tower of Pisa.
13. Everyone tells you you're too busy.
I've bolded the ones I've definitely shown. The ones in italics are my "sort of" category. I speak to my best friend online and occasionally over the phone, but we don't see each other nearly as often as we did once, though part of that is also her derby schedule. I've made time for my indulgences over the last week (namely reading trashy novels and playing the Sims) but it's been brief periods of time that I've needed for my sanity and to maybe, just maybe, stop the weird twitch I've developed in my eye. My bills don't look like the Tower of Pisa - I started out my adult life with bad credit thanks to identity theft, so I learned early on how important it was to make sure your bills are paid and how much good credit is necessary in today's society.
All this is my way to say... I might quit derby for a little while. Not permanently - I love it too much. I can't even do anything really, but it's gotten into my blood. All I want to do is talk derby, even if right now it's to complain that I don't have the time to practice. Because, honestly, I don't. I work full-time. I go to school. Combined together, that alone is killing me. Add derby in, and I don't have a night to myself. In order to take time and de-stress, I've stopped practicing on the weekends. It's not right. If you're not willing and able to practice on the side in addition to team practices, derby might not be the sport for you. Not at the moment.
So I'm doing some thinking right now. And by "thinking", I mean I need to quit, but I can't bring myself to write the email. I hate quitting. I've never really been a quitter before, particularly not for something that means so much to me. Do you know I exercised on my vacation? ME. EXERCISING. ON VACATION. That's not something I would have done before derby.
But it's not fair to my team to take up rink space, even if it is beginner rink space, if I'm not able to commit myself the way they deserve. I've already designed my spring school schedule around derby. They were tentatively discussing doing recruitment again in January. That would give me time to finish this semester, take a break, do the holiday thing, and come back refreshed. I keep telling myself that it's not really quitting, it's taking a two month break. But it doesn't stop my heart from hurting, and it doesn't stop me from feeling like a terrible person, one of those people I always criticize by saying "Well, if they truly want it, they would go for it."
I really need to hit something right now.
EDIT: And apparently by hit something, I meant "cry." Damn it. I hate crying.
1. You spend a good amount of time worrying about time.
2. You can't remember the last time you were spontaneous.
3. You eat most of your meals on the go.
4. You haven't talked to your best friend in weeks.
5. You're sleep-deprived.
6. You silently wish for cancellations.
7. You don't have time for your indulgences.
8. You can't recall the last time you broke a sweat.
9. You chafe at being asked a favor or commitment.
10. Your body is showing signs of rebellion.
11. You don't deal well with unexpected changes to your schedule.
12. Your bills look like the Tower of Pisa.
13. Everyone tells you you're too busy.
I've bolded the ones I've definitely shown. The ones in italics are my "sort of" category. I speak to my best friend online and occasionally over the phone, but we don't see each other nearly as often as we did once, though part of that is also her derby schedule. I've made time for my indulgences over the last week (namely reading trashy novels and playing the Sims) but it's been brief periods of time that I've needed for my sanity and to maybe, just maybe, stop the weird twitch I've developed in my eye. My bills don't look like the Tower of Pisa - I started out my adult life with bad credit thanks to identity theft, so I learned early on how important it was to make sure your bills are paid and how much good credit is necessary in today's society.
All this is my way to say... I might quit derby for a little while. Not permanently - I love it too much. I can't even do anything really, but it's gotten into my blood. All I want to do is talk derby, even if right now it's to complain that I don't have the time to practice. Because, honestly, I don't. I work full-time. I go to school. Combined together, that alone is killing me. Add derby in, and I don't have a night to myself. In order to take time and de-stress, I've stopped practicing on the weekends. It's not right. If you're not willing and able to practice on the side in addition to team practices, derby might not be the sport for you. Not at the moment.
So I'm doing some thinking right now. And by "thinking", I mean I need to quit, but I can't bring myself to write the email. I hate quitting. I've never really been a quitter before, particularly not for something that means so much to me. Do you know I exercised on my vacation? ME. EXERCISING. ON VACATION. That's not something I would have done before derby.
But it's not fair to my team to take up rink space, even if it is beginner rink space, if I'm not able to commit myself the way they deserve. I've already designed my spring school schedule around derby. They were tentatively discussing doing recruitment again in January. That would give me time to finish this semester, take a break, do the holiday thing, and come back refreshed. I keep telling myself that it's not really quitting, it's taking a two month break. But it doesn't stop my heart from hurting, and it doesn't stop me from feeling like a terrible person, one of those people I always criticize by saying "Well, if they truly want it, they would go for it."
I really need to hit something right now.
EDIT: And apparently by hit something, I meant "cry." Damn it. I hate crying.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Decisions, decisions
I've been performing at renfaires since I was 16. It started out with the Virginia Renaissance Faire and a couple of others. The only one we have here that goes longer than one weekend is all the way out in Tampa, but for the past two years I've made the drive every weekend during faire season. Every year, I say I'm not going to do it, that it takes up too much time, that it's too expensive and every damned time, I find myself at auditions once again. Not this year, however! I have *roller derby*.
They called me today. The director left a message asking if I'd be interested in coming back in my previous role. I haven't returned the call yet because... well, they've never called before to ask. o.O Just hearing the voicemail message left me all excited and wanting to plan. My character is already set; I'd just need to do a few tweaks. I already have all the homework I did during rehearsals saved in Evernote. Hell, now that I have a smartphone, I wouldn't even have to take the time to print it. I can just pull it up on my phone when they want to see it. Rehearsals are only half days on Saturdays. I could do that easily.
Performances are a different story. I'll lose eight weekends to that plus one Friday, with two days taken out to account for bouts. I was super stressed last year trying to do this. I had no one to carpool with from Orlando, which means I was stuck incurring all of the gas costs, all of the mileage, all of the everything. There is a girl I met through SCA that might be interested in doing it this year. I might have help on that, but I might not. There are also three faire people now working for Disney who may be doing faire if they can manage to get their weekends off. But it's still just so much work trying to do work, school and roller derby or work, school and faire. But work, school, roller derby AND faire? I might actually give myself a heart attack. (Even though my derby knee pads *would* be perfect for some of my more physical bits...) Plus, hopefully before the end of next faire season, I'll move out of honorary status, into official status and placed on a team. I suspect this is going to lead to me taking a larger role in the league, or at the very least practicing more often. Plus, when the eight weeks of performances hit, I will officially be unable to get any skating in on the side. No open skate, no Barber Park.
I'm crazy to even think of doing this.
They called me today. The director left a message asking if I'd be interested in coming back in my previous role. I haven't returned the call yet because... well, they've never called before to ask. o.O Just hearing the voicemail message left me all excited and wanting to plan. My character is already set; I'd just need to do a few tweaks. I already have all the homework I did during rehearsals saved in Evernote. Hell, now that I have a smartphone, I wouldn't even have to take the time to print it. I can just pull it up on my phone when they want to see it. Rehearsals are only half days on Saturdays. I could do that easily.
Performances are a different story. I'll lose eight weekends to that plus one Friday, with two days taken out to account for bouts. I was super stressed last year trying to do this. I had no one to carpool with from Orlando, which means I was stuck incurring all of the gas costs, all of the mileage, all of the everything. There is a girl I met through SCA that might be interested in doing it this year. I might have help on that, but I might not. There are also three faire people now working for Disney who may be doing faire if they can manage to get their weekends off. But it's still just so much work trying to do work, school and roller derby or work, school and faire. But work, school, roller derby AND faire? I might actually give myself a heart attack. (Even though my derby knee pads *would* be perfect for some of my more physical bits...) Plus, hopefully before the end of next faire season, I'll move out of honorary status, into official status and placed on a team. I suspect this is going to lead to me taking a larger role in the league, or at the very least practicing more often. Plus, when the eight weeks of performances hit, I will officially be unable to get any skating in on the side. No open skate, no Barber Park.
I'm crazy to even think of doing this.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Progress made
The recent change in practice time and location has made it a little more difficult for me to get some skate time in. I managed to make it before the end this time on Monday, though it wasn't enough time to even bother strapping on skates. I did get to watch the other girls from our fresh meat group scrimmage though. They look fantastic out there! I hope I'm doing that well after my second recruitment. It was difficult at times to spot some of the new girls versus the vets. I was so proud of them! So jealous, but so proud!! I drove home that night a bit sad about how little I get to practice now with midterms and school scheduling craziness but then, towards the end of the now looong drive, I started reminiscing about my first practice.
Do you know when I first started skating, I often couldn't even make it around the entire rink? I'd go along the wall (forever gripping the wall), make it to the next point where the wall ends, get off the rink, and rest. After a couple of weeks of skate classes at the rink, I'd often go a lap, rest, go a lap, rest. When I went in for my first derby practice, I had only been off the wall for a couple of weeks, and it was only just barely off the wall. I was still nervous about getting too far away from it. I remember being slightly terrified of our very first drill. All we did was skate and do falls at various cones. We were skating in the middle of the rink though, away from my precious wall, and I felt like I could barely move.
Perspective. I still suck, but not as much as I did once before. Remembering that compared to how I skate now is what's getting me through. Yes, I'm going through a second recruitment. But I'm going to nail it the next time around.
Do you know when I first started skating, I often couldn't even make it around the entire rink? I'd go along the wall (forever gripping the wall), make it to the next point where the wall ends, get off the rink, and rest. After a couple of weeks of skate classes at the rink, I'd often go a lap, rest, go a lap, rest. When I went in for my first derby practice, I had only been off the wall for a couple of weeks, and it was only just barely off the wall. I was still nervous about getting too far away from it. I remember being slightly terrified of our very first drill. All we did was skate and do falls at various cones. We were skating in the middle of the rink though, away from my precious wall, and I felt like I could barely move.
Perspective. I still suck, but not as much as I did once before. Remembering that compared to how I skate now is what's getting me through. Yes, I'm going through a second recruitment. But I'm going to nail it the next time around.
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