Fresh Meat Day 2

I feel so much better this recruitment than I did the last. Last night we worked on falls and stops some more, as well as doing side steps and grapevines. I did pretty well on most of it. I still suck at plow stopping, but I t-stop like a boss. I also did knee glides last night! I really struggled with those last time, so it was pretty awesome that I picked it up fairly quickly. I was so shocked when I went down the first time and came right back up that I just stood there for a second like "OMG, I DID IT?!?!" before moving out of the way for the next girl. When I skate this weekend, I'll make sure to work on these a little bit so I don't stand there looking like an idiot afterwards, as well as my plow stops, crossovers and double knee falls.

During warm-ups, I managed some crossovers! This was particularly exciting because I recently adjusted my trucks, so I felt pretty awesome that I could do (crappy) crossovers even with that. However, my ankle still hurt like a son of a bitch during warm-ups, even with me doing ankle strengthening exercises this week. In fact, I worry a little bit that the ankle strengthening exercises made it worse, because I went into practice with a little bit of pain from doing the exercises for a few days. So I finally gave in. I've scheduled an appointment on Monday morning first thing in order to see a sports medicine physician to check it out for me. I really think it's just a weak ankle from what I've seen on the Internet. I had a bad sprain on it when I was a kid, as well as a couple of minor sprains in high school and once doing faire back in 2004. Hopefully they'll just tell me to do some exercises and tape it up when skating until I get the ankle built up.

Practice 1

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me. I was doing crossovers at the rink in SC like I actually knew what I was doing, and on a rink I was unfamiliar with that was slicker than I'm comfortable with. Why couldn't I do them last night? We were doing warm-ups and every time we hit a curve, it was like my legs were magically glued to the ground. Itzel said she thought it was just a mental thing. It could have been. I was a little freaked out about it being the first practice and skating with OPCDG again. But not doing crossovers meant instant ankle pain from the weird way that I take turns when I don't man up and do what I need to, so halfway through warm-ups, I was ready to die. I was in pain, I was embarrassed that I couldn't skate after all this time, I hated that so many people were passing me and crossing over like they were born on skates... I'll be honest. As they blew the whistle and we headed over to the beginner's rink, I thought about not coming back on Wednesday. It sucks to work so hard to try to get something basic like that and still have issues.

Once we got back into the beginner's rink, I felt much better though. We did our normal stretching, they spent some time getting birthdays, putting names on helmets, etc. Afterwards, we worked on falls and stops. Falls came right back to me (well, excluding 180s, which I've always sucked at, and baseball slides on the leg I don't fall well on.) Stops were difficult to do because there were so many people in such a small space. I was afraid I was going to trip someone when doing plow stops, particularly since I have ridiculously long legs. I suppose it's great practice for stopping in a pack though, which I really need to work on. I worry so much about my suckiness affecting others (tripping them, or landing on them with all of my weight.) I'm slowly getting over it, but it's a process.

I feel like I'm more in the middle in this recruitment. There are more people my age, more people closer to my size, and more people with approximately my skill level skating. I feel like I actually have a chance this time.

Derby Goals for the week:
1. Do a crossover during warm-ups on Wednesday.
2. Scrounge up the money for an open-skate session.
3. Finish reading "Down and Derby".
4. Do ankle-strengthening exercises every day.
5. Drink at least 3 20 oz. cups of water per day.
6. Let myself fall during practice.

Getting Lower

Shae and I went to Barber Park early this morning to get some skate time in. It was great, really. We didn't push ourselves all that hard but honestly I'm out of practice and she was sore. (Plus, the combo of sucky outdoor wheels and not mouthguard made me nervous as hell.) I love skating with Shae though because every time, she always manages to explain something in a new way to me in order to help me out.

One of my (many many many) problems is that I don't get low enough. I know this. Everyone tells me this. Even worse, I tell myself to get lower, bend my knees more and what happens? I lower my back at my waist and get thrown off-balance. ;lksdjf;sladfj Every. Fucking. Time! Or I feel like I'm getting low and bending my knees and it's pointed out to me that, no, I'm standing up very straight still.

It's the little things that help. Shae mentioned that if I can touch the top of my knee pads, that's the highest I should be at any point in time. I lowered myself in that position and thought "You have got to be fucking kidding me." That's as HIGH as I should be, meaning I should be lower than this if possible? NO WAY. But I tried it! Not perfectly, but I did try to use that as a guideline through much of our skating and... it helped. It helped a lot. I was feeling a little bit better skating, even on the shitty shitty wheels I was skating on. I didn't get my knee falls where I want them to be, but I did work on sticky skating and feel a little better on that. Obviously, I need to work on it more. I will probably always need to work on it more. I'm sure the girls from Team USA are still getting on themselves about getting lower when skating and perfecting certain skills. Hopefully the combination of Barber Park extra practice plus actual recruitment time will finally get my muscles to remember all these moves and get me placed on a team this go around.

(Also, I'm pretty sure if I was doing it right before, I wouldn't be sore from two hours of the lightest skating ever. Definitely need to work on my core, too. I couldn't get up without using my hands. Balls.)

Recruitment: Round 2

Monday was my first night of recruitment round 2. This was just a required informational meeting to fill out paperwork, answer questions, etc. It's almost as nerve-wracking to go through a second round as it is to do the first round. The first time around, you're very optimistic about your chances of making the team. You're absolutely certain that by the end of two months, you'll be passing your minimum skills and by the end of four months, you'll be ready to roll for your first bout. However, by the end of four months, I still couldn't pass my minimum skills. My confidence has taken a beating. At the same time though, I'm starting out probably at the level that many of the girls from last recruitment started at. There's hope!

The intimidation factor from the first recruitment is gone, too. You know, in the very beginning, you're in complete awe of the women already playing. You've been watching them for x amount of time. They're practically gods to you, and now you're trying to be one of them. They're taking their time and talking to you, helping you out, etc. Every time I opened my mouth, I was kicking myself because I was certain everything I said was stupid. I'll admit - I still feel that way at times. It seems weird and wrong to try and be a part of them after looking up to them for so long. But at the same time, everyone was absolutely amazing. The girls I went through recruitment with last time and a few of the more seasoned skaters stopped to say hello, wish me luck and tell me they're glad to see me back.

I'm still very nervous that I'm going to completely blow. I had a dream last night that it was our first practice and I completely forgot how to skate. I spent the entire night on the wall, unable to stand up properly. My legs were all rubbery in a cartoon-ish sort of way, so the only thing keeping me off the floor was my arms clutched on the wall. I think one of the weirder parts of it was that it was definitely the smelly, dirty wall from Universal Skating Center, but it was around the rink at Semoran.

I feel like I'm constantly doing squats to prepare right now, but I'm not getting in the cardio or endurance training that I really need. I'm also not skating nearly enough. Until I pay off my car stuff, I can't afford to go to many open skate sessions, but at the same time, I don't have a good pair of outdoor wheels, so I'm hesitant to go to Barber Park. I might have to suck it up and just go, but really all I want to do is skate on my new wheels. I received some decent birthday money from my granddad (a few months late, thanks to the United States Postal Service) so I bought a set of D-rods at Shell's recommendation (and a little bit of research).

I've been skating on some narrower wheels after reading a bunch of stuff about how it's better for pack skating. However, since stability is an issue, I wanted to try a wider wheel. as;dlfkjasd; THESE ARE A DREAM COME TRUE. I've only skated with them once since receiving them just before Christmas, but I'm in love. I feel like my crossovers are better, my stability is better, my confidence higher and I CAN PLOW STOP. Not quickly, but a hell of a lot better than before where I felt like my wheels were stopping but my ankles weren't. I swore I was going to topple over or break an ankle doing them before. My speed is also better. Dad and I were the same speed last time I went to visit him (which was days before our minimum skills test.) I was definitely faster this time! I could easily lap him a few times. I suspect a part of it is the combination of my awesome new wheels and their freaking amazing new slippy floor (the local rink in SC just re-did the floor. It's all shiny and glittery. I was entertained just looking at it.) I'm hoping that wider wheels were all I needed to get a little more speed going. Apparently some people (particularly bigger girls) find this to be the case. It certainly felt like I didn't need to work as hard to get to a decent speed. But I suppose we'll see come January 16th!

AHHH

Recruitment is only five days away. Why am I so nervous? I've been through this once before. I know what's going to happen, and I know most of the people. Yet, I'm still nervous as fuck. What if I still suck? What if I stop improving early on? What if I improve but still never reach the level I need to? Will my right ankle always hurt like a son of a bitch after skating? Will my endurance ever improve? ;alsdkfja;lsdjf

December Goal

My goal for December is to work on my skate form/posture. I'm doing some off-skates stuff on the weekdays and finally am getting back up on skates on the weekends. Shae helped me out a lot more than she realized this past weekend, I think. When sticky skating, I was always told to push hard on the turns and that the movement is like a half-moon. I started doing that and was going faster than I did at the beginning, but then Shae called it "scooter pushes" this weekend. It's amazing how something as simple as a change in terms can make it 100% more clear. A few laps around and I started pushing like I was riding a scooter... I've already seen a definite increase in speed. Am I where I need to be? I have no clue. Probably not. But I'm getting there!

I'm also bending my knees more when I'm skating. I can feel the difference when I do it. It's easier to get and maintain speed. It's still an area where I'm not 100%, but even 20% is better than before.

Next recruitment: 3 weeks, 4 days.

Women's Sports

I follow a freaking ton of roller derby blogs, both here (stalking many of you courtesy of Google Reader) and on Tumblr. The big thing controversy today is over some douchebag writing an article for a little PoS local newspaper about how roller derby isn't a sport. I won't link it here just because many of those people are paid specifically to create controversy and make money for each page view. I won't give that douchebag the pleasure of any additional clicks from the two people who actually read this.

The thing is though - he's not the first and probably not the last to say that roller derby isn't a sport. The prime arguments that these people have are the fake names and the outfits. The names I'm not going to get into right now. The outfits however... Yes, sometimes the outfits can be a little outrageous. This seems to be primarily during certain themed bouts where leagues go out of their way to create an amusing spectacle to draw in the crowds, bringing attention not just to the league but to the charity they support. Usually, however, the women of roller derby wear a short-sleeved shirt or tank top with their team's name on it, some short shorts that allow comfort while keeping the body cool, tights to minimize rink rash, and, of course, their safety gear. What's wrong with that?

In my opinion, the problem is deeper than just what derby girls wear. It's the fact that a sport dominated by women does not garner respect in our society. Think about it - when was the last time you remember anyone talking about women's soccer/football? What about women's basketball? Tennis? Rugby? Cheerleading? (And when I say "cheerleading", I mean the actual sport of cheerleading generally popular in high school and college, not the women who wave their pom-poms during professional football games.) Gymnastics? Luge? Bowling? Golf? Out of all of those, the only sports I can remember anyone talking about are tennis and women's golf, and I suspect the latter is because I live an hour or two away from the LPGA headquarters.

Many of the sports listed get more respect than roller derby, but it's certainly not because of their outfits though. Cheerleading is a sport known for being sexualized with it's tiny skirts and belly shirts. Female tennis players wear cute little skirts rather than the seemingly more practical shorts, but no one gives them shit for that. Hell, when you do hear about female tennis players, it's usually about how hot Anna Kournikova or some other cute little blond girl is more than their amazing skills. Gymnasts often escape the sexualization despite wearing less than derby girls, though this might have more to do with the average ages of gymnasts being between 13 and 17.

If you play one of the other sports, the ones where women wear comfortable, practical clothing, you're often called "a lesbian", as if this is an insult and as if the sport you play and the clothes you wear are what define your sexual orientation and not, you know, being sexually attracted to people of the same sex. I heard this enough back when I played softball, that people don't want to come out and "watch a bunch of lesbians play softball because they're not good enough to play baseball," while the all-male school baseball team enjoyed fairly large crowds and a field that's both well-lit at night and close to both the school building and parking. Never mind that our varsity softball team often took the state championship while the baseball team was just okay. We were women viewed as trying too hard to be "manly" and therefore not to be taken seriously. You just can't win.

In summary: nothing we can do will make people like this view us with respect, not because it's roller derby but because we lack penises. We can rant and rail at this guy, but it's probably not going to do anything but make him more popular with his boss. Or we can save up the rage for our next bout and skate it out.

(BTW, I'd love someone in his local league to invite him to skate with them for a week or so. Just pop him in with a brand new fresh meat class so he can learn all the falls and whatnot, then start running some endurance drills before he leaves. Let's see how he feels about our non-sport after that.)