Part of me wants to be really down on myself right now. We were doing pace lines with some of the Psycho Sisters at practice on Saturday and I just couldn't keep up. Even worse? I was the *only* one who couldn't keep up. I'm the only one who can't get the speed necessary to do the freaking exercise! I could cry. What's getting me through it though?

A month ago, I could barely move on my skates. Sure, I couldn't keep up. But I wasn't all that far behind them! I'll get the speed. It's just going to take some additional practice. We tried to go trail skating in my neighborhood today only to discover - surprise! - trail skating requires decent sidewalks (aka trail skating can't happen in a cheap apartment complex.) We're going to try again next week with Shae at one of the parks in the area.

Fun fact about me: I'm a total Ravenclaw. I'm always up in my head, and it's no different with derby. Even the most basic of exercises (like practicing t-stops) never goes well because I overthink it. I can t-stop. I can! Really! But in front of people, if I feel like they're watching me or waiting for me to do it, I can't. It's terrible. We had the first part of our minimum skills test the other day and, even though we haven't heard results yet, I feel like I was a complete failure. I can't even do a proper stride when I'm being judged. Right now, I feel like I'll be lucky if I make it on a team by December. I also find that I don't like to experiment as much with things I can do on my skates when other people are around watching. I might try to take some more time this week to go to Barber Park while my schedule allows it. If I can get up there sometime when we have the facilities pretty much to ourselves, I want to start playing more on my skates. At least when I bust my ass then, my failure will be private.