This is not my best day ever.

I feel awful. This was one of those nights where I questioned why I wanted to do this. Is hardcore exercise where people come up and hit you really the way I want to get in shape? Perhaps I should start out as a ref or NSO before I become a skater.

At the same time, I know I need to just push through. At the very least, that's what people keep saying. "You've improved so much!" Sure, I've improved a lot. But I'm still so very very far behind. I'm in this awkward phase now where I can do t-stops... most of the time. I can *almost* do a crossover if I'm going slow and I really think about every movement. The crossovers part is what's killing me right now. We had to do our 20 in 5 today. I failed it so hard. I was keeping up at first, but halfway through, I just freaked out every time I tried to do a crossover. I don't know why. Then I fell so far behind everyone else that I wasn't sure I'd ever catch up, so I sort of gave up. Sort of. I mean, I kept skating, but I didn't push as hard as I could have. At the point where the whistle blew signifying the end of our 5 minutes, I was at about 16 or 17 laps. I kept going and was the last one to finish. Ugh.

Nothing I could do tonight was right. I couldn't lean properly. I couldn't hit properly. I couldn't hit hard enough. I couldn't sticky skate very quickly around the corners. I didn't have time to drink at work today (all I had all day was a cup of coffee and a medium Pepsi) so all I could think about while skating was how delicious water would be. We had junk food before the match, so at times I was so close to vomiting that I could taste my burrito supreme again (never again will I eat Taco Bell before skating.) And, of course, junk food just left me feeling icky all night. That's on top of the fact that I'm just not in shape enough to keep up.

Yeah, this is not my best day ever.