Worried

Testing is today.

I'm SO not ready. Today is the day when I start feeling jealous of all the other leagues, the ones with three months of recruitment training before that big day comes up. Two months seems fine if you know how to skate. I feel like I'm so close sometimes. My crossovers are improving. I'm getting lower. I'm getting faster. My endurance is improving. However, the rest of the fresh meat girls are already scrimmaging, so I'm just hanging out with the two others who started out not knowing how to skate because none of us are ready. We're just hanging out, waiting... for what? I don't even know at this point. We do warm ups and cool downs with everyone else. I suppose they're waiting for us to show signs of improvement or quit. It's a bit disheartening.

I mean, I understand why we're not scrimmaging. We're not ready at all. We're not fast enough, we're not strong enough, we simply don't have the skills. Watching the scrimmages has really helped us learn the rules of the game, but our skating isn't improving by watching. I'm debating quitting for awhile and coming back for the next recruitment in January. I know I won't exercise as much as I need to between now and then, but it would give me a chance to get caught up on school work (three weeks in and already behind) and arrange my spring schedule to work with derby.